My New Year Resolutions – Report Card

Laughter Club, Random Ramblings 4 Minutes

A month into 2016, and here I am taking stock of which resolutions I stuck to and which I got stuck into.

  • My first resolution was decided a few days before 2015 had officially ended. I had met a tarot card reader, who urged that I meditate for 10 minutes daily. Only 10 minutes? I had thought. That’s doable! Starting Jan 1st, I would meditate for 10 minutes daily, I decided. I added that to my NY resolutions at number 1, very excited at making a new year resolution that promised such holistic well-being.Except as I write this, we are already well approaching the end of the first month and I am yet to manage to spare a mere 10 minutes.Hopefully, I would have been able to renew my resolutions and started the new month by meditating for a mere 10 minutes at least once, by the time you read this.
  • My second resolution was to disconnect from the online world including blogging for at least an hour daily. Instead I had decided to utilize that 1 hour to go for a walk in the neighbourhood park. Yay! I can proudly say that I managed to do that. Once. I must state here that the 1 hour that I walked around the periphery of the park was most productive, as I managed to fulfill all my social messaging obligations. I chatted on Whatsapp, checked out FB notifications, replied to comments on my blog, and to mails and Gtalk messages. Whew! All within the span of that 1 hour. Walking and working. Impressive. Although I wonder why after an hour of walking, I found myself barely 20 steps forward from my starting point.
  • Third resolution was to read more blogs and articles. I have been very diligent in sourcing new blogs and articles. There are exactly 17 tabs open in my browser window, each displaying a must-read article. Not to mention another 6 that are book-marked. The tabs have been open for a month. Twice my computer rebooted itself, and twice I cursed my stars at not having read the articles and for being dependent on unhelpful technology. Fortunately, the tabs were far more stubborn in their existence than my laptop in trying to shut them down, as they remained intact even after two re-boots, and promptly opened to the last accessed page on their own, thanks to Google’s error detection technology. Who says technology isn’t helpful?!
  • Fourth resolution was to read more books and watch more TV shows that enhance my knowledge.
    I have a list of 11 books that I intend to read. I have finished just one, till now – an e-book sent by a blogger friend of mine. (Thanks, Rashmi!) It’s a different matter altogether that I read it from start to finish, only because she had assured me the discovery of a new love. Fooled by her promise that I would forget Derek Shepherd and would find a new man to drool over, I devoured the book in 2 days. Alas! She had underestimated my love for Dr. McDreamy!
    On TV shows: I am currently watching my 357th rerun of Grey’s Anatomy as a newly purchased paperback lies unopened on my table. Figured the practical lessons on How to Get away with Murder could wait until after my meditation sessions were over. Since the lack of meditation would no longer be able to keep me calm, it would be best to put my murderous moods to good use then. Ex-bosses, ex-boyfriends and all the world’s creeps, rejoice for you live to see another day.
  • My fifth resolution was to learn new recipes. For this purpose, I had even bought a whole bag of ingredients and groceries. The sauces were instead used up as bread spreads.
    Yesterday, when I went rummaging the vegetables for a new recipe I had finally been inspired to try, they were nowhere to be found. I had started to suspect the hand of foreign sources and alien presence in the disappearance of the ingredients, when I was told that after a few days of waiting for me to use them the groceries were packed in a box and pushed to the back of the refrigerator. They had remained there until Mom decided to give up on me and used it up for the usual meals. (I suspect she is secretly jealous of my cooking abilities and deliberately attempted to throw me off my New Year goals.)
  • Sixth resolution was to Travel. Aah! This one would be a surely achievable one, since I am so fond of travelling. I am currently awaiting yet another itinerary from yet another travel agent. The previous 7 that I had contacted have turned me down on the pretext of not having a suitable itinerary to match my requirements. What does that even mean? It was strange that a travel agent, whose only source of revenue is designing itineraries and travel packages, was telling me they were unable to do just that. One had even sent me an email explaining their reasons. Unfortunately, instead of giving clarity, it had mystified me even more. The travel operator expressed regret and said they had been “unable to design an itinerary to match my budget of Rs. 0/-”.
  • Seventh Resolution was… you really want to know?! Let’s just suffice it to say that after intense searching in both worlds by family and friends, I continue to remain unmarried.
    Tropilija has happily flown back to his home planet with Mastani, a white furred four-legged creature who he fell in love with after watching the Bollywood film Bajirao Mastani. I believe he imagined himself to be the eternal lover Bajirao. They were married off with much fan-fare and pomp, in the presence of Derek Shepherd and Will Gardner, who had very graciously risen from the dead to attend this holy union. The only two people unhappy with this match were my neighbour’s rottweiler, Rocky and my fellow blogger and friend Anand R. Rocky has since then taken fancy to angrily chewing up anything that has the words ‘out of this world’ written on it. I have somehow been able to keep my left hand, tattooed with the exact same words, out of his sight and reach.
    These days, however he is besotted with another white female who responds to the name of Missie.
    Anand has meanwhile decided to post-pone the plans for his inter-planetary match-making business to another lifetime.
    So, at least for now, we are back to looking at humanly appearing grooms for me.

I plan to re-new my resolutions at the start of February and hope to have better luck sticking to them the second time round.

How have you fared in achieving your New Year Resolutions?

Published by Wandering Soul

A nomad at heart, love reading, travelling and photography and now trying to combine them all. Author of Just Another Day, a collection of 3 short stories, published by Readomania - amzn.in/hOIaKxf

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44 thoughts on “My New Year Resolutions – Report Card”

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    1. Thanks! 🙂 Let’s just say I have resigned myself to making new resolutions every month. Especially, since the list for March is now being drawn up 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Loved this! 🙂 Couldn’t stop laughing 😀 I miss Christina more than Derek… 😦 It’s gonna start again this month (Yayy!) I couldn’t stop laughing at the Rs. 0 budget :’) Everyone around were staring at me while I completely ignored that and continued laughing at the screen. Good luck with the re-renewing 😀

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    1. I miss Christina too. Can’t wait for the new season 🙂 About the others staring at you, let them know about my resolution woes. Wouldn’t hurt to have more people join me in ganging up against those travel agents. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hahaha! Definitely! How could they deny you of fulfilling your resolution? Surely, they had some ulterior motives. You must find out. Hire a detective I say.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Hilarious! Well-written. I don’t do resolutions either, but I do make ongoing ‘adjustments’ as and when I become aware they need to be made. I don’t know about you, but I miss Derek and Mark’s humour, latest series of GA is a bit dark and sullen so far.

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    1. I wasn’t so much a McSteamy fan 😛 But It’s just not the same without Derek! 😦 I agree it is quite dark and depressing without humour and love. Especially with the other dark and twisted sister also no longer on the show.

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  12. I gave that up long time ago. I have creating an “intention” like in yoga is more productive and feels better. Instead of I’m going to meditate 10 minutes a day or lose 10 pounds, I decide I want to experience more gratitude or more awe. No, I have not done well at experiencing more awe this year most days since 2016 started, but I have found that consciously I think about it from time to time and feel like I’m making progress.

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  13. Haha! That was such an entertaining read! I suspect you are not alone in struggles with the dreaded “New Years Resolution”. I don’t make them myself. Although if I were to, I’d have picked similar ones to you. Best of luck with your “New Month Resolutions”, I’m looking forward to hearing how you go 😀

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    1. Neerja, am glad you find my plight amusing! Meanwhile, I am morose at the realization that I have failed at the renewing the resolutions. Time to re-renew 😀

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  16. That was an amazing read!
    You see, this is exactly why I don’t do resolutions anymore! 😀
    I don’t know which book I will have to send you to beat Derek Shepherd. Uhhh….I don’t know when you will come out of the GA fantasy world….!

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