I write because it gives me the ability to express myself without fear – fear of being judged, fear of being contradicted or questioned and fear of being restricted. In my imaginary world, I can be anything – a failed artist, a mediocre writer, a successful musician or even the best actor in the world.
I first discovered I could write when I was in primary school. Articles and write-ups that found their way into the school magazine gave me a sense of accomplishment that P.T. had previously taken away. My own understanding of its value came about when my teachers would pull me away from class and banish me to a quiet corner to drum up something worthy enough to fill up an empty column. As if I was the magician who could conjure the rabbit out of the hat. This was my rabbit and the hat my over-imaginative mind. Somewhere along the way, amongst the reactions of carbon and effects of nuclear fission, the rabbit and the hat both disappeared. Probably went looking for that x which was never solved, anyway. The lack of practice led to a lack of confidence, which, if you are human, I am sure would need no introduction or explanation. This lack of confidence gradually turned its form and became a lack of ability in my mind, at least. Told you, I have a super-active brain – here, even thoughts can change form!
This remained the story, until one fine day, I found myself out of a job and in that familiar land of confusion that I often end up in. It was this moment of worthlessness that made me question why I had allowed a job to define me in the first place. Isn’t there so much more to a person than just what he or she does for a livelihood?! I finally decided to take the plunge and move away from my humdrum life and pursue my long lost interests – reading and writing being the first two in the list.
My stories may be an extension of me or even an exact opposite. My articles may express my opinions without having to explain them or their basis to another soul. I put my opinions out in the public so that someone may find resonance and a reflection of their own opinions. It may change someone’s point of view or may give words to another one’s unsaid emotions. It may tell someone that they are not alone in their moment of despair. It may inspire another to try again until success comes knocking.
I write because, sometimes, for me just having random thoughts crop up in my mind is not good enough. I feel it’s important to pen down your thoughts, precisely, for the reasons listed above. Sometimes, it may not make sense. Like it doesn’t on this attempt. But, what is important is something got written down for others to read, understand, relate to and even to draw inspiration from. Someday, my hopes will become reality and someone somewhere will say, “Hey, that is so amazing and inspiring.”
Until then, I write, ever hopeful that something sensible may spew forth from the hat!